


A Good Boyfriend

by MarineHaddock



Category: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 02:39:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16317551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarineHaddock/pseuds/MarineHaddock
Summary: Sometimes you will leave a past relationship bitter, and there's nothing you want more than to sit in front of your ex, kissing someone who is better than him in every single way.Luckily, Kiriya has actually achieved breakthroughs and wrote papers on game disease, while Hiiro has only ever read them, and he's the perfect candidate to also be better in the boyfriend department.





	A Good Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DroppedAllTheseOreos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DroppedAllTheseOreos/gifts).



"That's my paperwork done and just so you know, I'll be bringing my boyfriend over tonight." Kiriya tossed his file off to the side as he stood up, moving to go pour himself a fresh cup of coffee.  
"Why are you bringing him here?" Hiiro didn't look up from the cake box as he retrieved the fresh new cake from it. A parting gift for the night before Haima went home, leaving Hiiro on duty in CR. They were short staff, after all, Emu and Hiiro were both meant to be there during the day, but Kiriya had argued ethics that he can't work 7 nights a week for eternity. Not to mention even he had questions about his title of "doctor" even if it was CR exclusive.  
"Well if you hadn't noticed, I live here. Bugsters apparently can't legally be homeowners, and not worth investing in anywhere to live when there's a perfectly good couch right here." Kiriya teleported to flop on the couch while the water boiled. Hiiro sighed in annoyance.  
"Then take him out somewhere."  
"Can't, they closed my bank account, and the hospital doesn't pay bugsters. I may need to join a union. Or make a new one for Bugsters." Hiiro sighed again, seemingly needing to double-y emphasize his annoyance before he went back to his cake. Kiriya considered whether he should bug him for a slice, it would go nicely with his coffee, but that would probably be pushing his luck. Wouldn't wanna end up like Kuroto after all. He relaxed into the arm of the couch, closing his eyes while he waited for his coffee to be ready.

He heard the water ready and groaned to get himself back up and make his coffee. Lying down may have emphasized his point but working all day had left him pretty tired. He could of happily just fallen asleep there if he didn't have other commitments. He swung his legs around, rolling to sit himself up straight and accept the cup of coffee being held out to him.  
"Thank- huh?" Kiriya took the mug before fully clocking what was up. He'd been getting up to make this cup of coffee but here was his guest already getting it for him. "You're early!"  
"You've finished anyway." Graphite crossed his arms, watching Hiiro from the corner of his eye. Hiiro still slowly registering what was going on and dropping everything to look round.

"You-" Hiiro started, making a move to stand, but Kiriya slammed his mug down to cut him off.  
"Hiiro! This is my boyfriend, Graphite, you may remember we kicked his ass once."  
"He-"  
"Is actually a pretty cool guy, so we started dating." Kiriya moved between Hiiro and Graphite as he spoke, helping to keep a fair distance between the two. Hiiro was clearly furious, moving to reach for his belt, but Kiriya managed to grab his gashat off him before he did.  
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't attack my boyfriend during our date, Doctor Kagami."  
"He's a bugster-"  
"Graphite, sweetheart, have you infected anyone?"  
"No."  
"There you go, doctor, Graphite hasn't infected a patient, and is here because he has a date with me. So if you could mind your own business for the rest of the night."  
"It's your specialty after all." Graphite spat out angrily. Well, this was to be expected. Hiiro thankfully had ignored him. The three of them went silent for a minute, making Kiriya wish he'd kept his coffee with him cause he really didn't trust what would happen if he moved from between the pair of them. Not that Hiiro could do much, Kiriya had his gashat and he probably had the strength of an overcooked noodle. Graphite could probably rip him in half with his bare hands but that would be against the point of the date. 

Kiriya took a small breath and turned to Graphite taking his hand.  
"So, date time. I got some movies ready for us. You get the TV and I'll get snacks." Kiriya handed Graphite the remote, kissing him before running over to get the snacks he'd managed to hide from the rest of the doctors working here. Popcorn, some cheap little cakes, Graphite would have got himself coffee if he wanted it...  
"Coroner." Hiiro harshly whispered behind him, almost making him drop everything. Kiriya turned to him with a smile.  
"Something wrong, Hiiro?"  
"Why are you dating him."  
"Eh?" Kiriya blinked at him innocently, "What do you mean why? I like him, isn't that a reason to?" Hiiro kept staring at him, clearly not satisfied with that answer.  
"Hiiro, I'm really just trying to have a nice date with my cool dragon boyfriend, so if you could let me give my testimony tomorrow you can cross-examine me while we do the rounds."  
"It can't wait, he killed my girlfriend." Hiiro moved in a way that suggested he was ready to push him up against the wall but whatever was keeping him whispering this conversation stopped him from doing so.  
"We can talk about the morality of a bugsters existence later. If you want to blame someone for your girlfriend you can blame God, who's over there in his heaven right now, or his dad. Graphite isn't going to do anything, he's just here for a date."

"He-" Hiiro started but Kiriya was fed up of this discussion, and teleported behind him, taking the snacks over to Graphite. Amazingly, there were no dating requirements he could think of that meant he had to have an extended argument with a coworker over who he was dating. Or if there was, he didn't particularly care and could deal with it in the morning. Right now, he was going to open a bag of popcorn and enjoy his boyfriend's company for one of the few times he could. Graphite hit play on the movie, taking a few of the cakes at once as he relaxed. Least he wasn't making a big scene about Hiiro's attempts to ruin their date.

He slid himself in closer, cuddling under Graphite's arm. The film was really just going to be background noise to him, he was trying to have a nice night relaxing, and watching the much more interesting show of an increasingly frustrated Hiiro. Sadly, his boyfriend was a little cold blooded so he wasn't exactly getting the best cuddle experience for his show. Still, maybe he'd missed the closeness to someone else. When was the last time he'd cuddled into someone? An arm over the shoulder style hug was a daily thing but he never really stopped like this. Graphite was actually pretty soft. Still tough built but soft enough for cuddling or sleeping on. He was focusing less on the miffed Hiiro now, bit more on how nice it was to relax on someone soft after a long day at work. Dating a dragon definitely seemed easier than a human, but maybe that was a bad thing to say. But the dragon can't...

Fuck he can't think like this again. This was why he hadn't been able to have a real boyfriend.

Distract himself idly by running his fingers over Graphite's leg, taking in the feel of the material. Focusing himself away from any sad thoughts. The fabric was pretty badly worn, maybe he'd need to talk to him about buying some new clothes. Though, it wouldn't really be any of his business-

Graphite caught his eye, staring him down. It seemed he was very capable of doing one of those stares that could rip through a person's entire soul for whatever secrets they held beneath. Kiriya had too many to worry about him locating the right ones but still, it made him a little uneasy for a second. Until Graphite cupped his face, nails gently scratching sharp as claws, and kissed him. Just a quick kiss, but still it caught him by surprise. He hadn't kissed anyone in a while, and it had been a while even before he had died. It was over before he'd even had the chance to think about it, but the hand lingered, claws moving too slow to be noticeable.

Kiriya started to register something in his brain, looking over to where Hiiro should be working. Sure enough, he was staring right at them, looking very offended at the sight.  
"Hiiro, can you min-" Kiriya started with a laugh, brushing Graphite's hand away as he talked, but the second it was off his face it was back grabbing him. Graphite kissed him hard enough to almost make him lose his balance. Well, that would be a show for Hiiro alright. It took Kiriya a little minute to get a hold of himself again and start laughing into Graphite's mouth. Ah, he'd wanted to kiss back, but he couldn't stop thinking about Hiiro's angry face, that was surely getting angrier by the second. Graphite eventually stopped trying, putting a couple of inches between their lips.  
"Why are you laughing, I'm doing my best here." It was hard to tell, but he almost seemed happy. Kiriya wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling himself a little closer again.  
"I got nervous, it's been a while since," His eyes darted to Hiiro for a second. "Since we last kissed." Graphite's eyes followed his just as quickly and smiled.  
"Sorry, a **good** relationship should be **full of affection**. I'll start making up for it now." No time to guilt Hiiro like the present.

Graphite leaned back in, kissing him slower, and he could feel the smile against his lips. His claws moved back from Kiriya's face, gently taking their place in his hair as their lips parted. Kiriya leaned back a little, letting Graphite shift more of his weight onto him. He could feel Graphite's tongue at his lips, weirdly textured which was a bit of a surprise but he tried not to show it. It was nice. He was enjoying this. Tongues and sharp teeth nibblings and just... affection. He could keep doing this, it's not like they were...

"I'm trying to work." Hiiro shouted over, finally the anger getting to him. Graphite broke the kiss and sat back up. Kiriya didn't remember the feeling of his head hitting the couch, he must have got caught up in it.  
"Then keep trying." Graphite near growled at him, before moving back to kiss Kiriya with as much exaggeration as he probably could. Which meant a whole lot of tongue for Kiriya, strangely he wasn't going to complain about that, before he moved to kiss his face and neck and collarbone. It was a good thing neither of them was watching this movie, they'd never hear a word of it.

"Coroner, give me my gashat." Hiiro had stormed over while Kiriya was distracted by some delightful lizard tongue, hand now out demandingly.  
"I'm a little occupied at the moment can you call back later?" He held Graphite down to his collar as he spoke. Hiiro tried to grab for him but he didn't have any particular problems batting him away.  
"I'll report you for letting him in."  
"Emu already knows, he wished me a good date."  
"He's not in charge around here." Graphite made a particularly long lick up his neck, completely blanking Hiiro but making Kiriya shudder.  
"Let me have some make out time with my boyfriend, it's not going to ruin our little genius surgeon's career."  
"Do it elsewhere then!"

Kiriya rolled his eyes and moved from under Graphite. They linked fingers as he pulled him up off the couch, and down the spiral staircase to the hall between the ward and door out of CR. Only at the bottom, when he knew Hiiro wouldn't be looking did he unlink their fingers. Kiriya sat down on the ledge there, putting his leg up beside him.  
"Well, you ain't-a half bad kiss-" Graphite cut him off, kissing him again, half climbing onto him as he did. After the initial shock, he kissed back, holding Graphite's face close. He tried to stop himself from wanting to pull him in closer. He didn't want to enjoy this too much, after all.

Kiriya broke away and took a deep breath.  
"What was that for?" He whispered, trying not to laugh.  
"If he can't hear us making out down here, then what's the point in doing this." Graphite nipped at Kiriya's neck and collar, the shock of it making him yelp.  
"Yeah, well, I think we already pissed him off a _lot_ ," Kiriya's voice hiked up as Graphite started to suck on the skin he'd been nipping. "Anything now is just gonna be a bonus." Graphite didn't respond to him immediately. He was focused on keeping his mouth busy on Kiriya's skin.  
"Well, nothing like showing him how a relationship _should_ be." Graphite licked up his neck, bringing his mouth back to Kiriya's, sliding his tongue back in. Kiriya wasn't sure if this _was_ how a relationship was meant to be. Well, obviously it wasn't after all this wasn't a real relationship and a real relationship should be built off of feelings and love and wanting to be together and...  
There were so many things a relationship should be but that didn't matter because that wasn't the stuff Hiiro would be able to see looking at a couple. What mattered here was that on the outside they were loving and affectionate. That they'd hold hands and cuddle and kiss. That they'd bring each other the perfect coffee because they know their partner so well. That they talk together like this, even if Hiiro can't make out what they're saying. Every single thing Hiiro had failed at. Every little thing that caused pain for Saki, pain that lived and grew inside Graphite for years.

It was such petty revenge, but didn't Hiiro deserve it.

This had seemed like a fun little game to play to annoy Hiiro but here he was moaning into the mouth of a guy he'd just started to get to know. A guy he felt sorry for that he'd not gotten the real version of this. He couldn't let this build on pity, so this was just a one-night thing. 

Graphite was the one to break away this time, rolling himself onto Kiriya's shoulder.  
"Did you get addicted to kissing or something?" Kiriya tried to laugh like he didn't want them to keep going.  
"It's been a long time since I kissed anyone." Graphite smiled to himself.  
"Am I better or worse than Hiiro?"  
"Better, unlike Hiiro you actually kissed me."  
"Had Saki kissed him?"  
"No." Kiriya rolled his eyes. Of course, he hadn't. Too much to ask the genius surgeon to kiss his girlfriend just once before she died. No wonder he was so upset about her, he hadn't even kissed her despite how long they'd been dating.  
"What were their dates like?"  
"Sometimes, they'd sit within a meter of each other while he didn't listen to her and eventually told her to leave him alone. The best date they had was one where he actually looked at her for 5 seconds and smiled, before going back to being himself."  
"Are you sure you were- she was actually dating him? Or did the director call Hiiro when she was on her deathbed and tell him 'Hiiro, your beloved Saki, your most wonderful girlfriend is about to kick the bucket'" Kiriya did his best impression of Haima, though the wording would definitely have been different. Graphite chuckled.  
"Who knows what came over him to suddenly decide she was his girlfriend."  
"I guess it was nice. That she got to say goodbye. I'm amazed he didn't just get the call and; 'Hiiro, our precious flower Saki is about to die', 'Ah. No thank you.'" He made the noise of a phone hanging up and tried to do that concerned face Haima does. He was a lot more confident in his Hiiro impression than his Haima. Not that he'd ever done them for anyone but Emu to judge, but Graphite was laughing so it was probably good enough.

"I never expected you to be the cuddly type." Kiriya smiled, looking at Graphite leaning on him almost seeming content as they'd talked.  
"I'm not. It's just for if Hiiro decides to walk down here."  
"Wanting to make me out as such a fantastic boyfriend, I have domesticated the wild dragon?"  
"I could be showing him a lot worse things, they'd probably stop him from opening his mouth ever again."  
"We are going pretty easy on him with just a whole lot of kissing. Though I'm sure I made those moans loud enough he'd avoid coming anywhere near us." He was trying to play it off as it had just been for effect. Not that he'd actually done it completely involuntarily. "He might not even look me in the eye tomorrow. Or the day after. Or for the next several weeks." Graphite smiled, but let silence fall between them. He stayed like that though, on his shoulder, neither of them having noticed when they'd laced their fingers together again. 

They really were limited in ways to annoy Hiiro down here. The moaning was one thing but if they actually put any more effort into that, they were at risk of Taiga being called for their removal. It wouldn't be very date like if he just sent Graphite home already, but entertaining themselves in a cramped hallway wasn't going to happen. 'You could just keep making out, that's fun' The thought came into his head but Kiriya quickly pushed it away. He wasn't gonna fall for that trap.  
"Hiiro! Can we come watch our movie if we behave?" Kiriya shouted up the stairs, trying to sound like an innocent kid, not that it was particularly effective.  
"No. You can stay down there till he leaves." Hiiro shouted back. Well, that was that out of the question, and also this date's main purpose completely compromised. He sighed dramatically, hoping Hiiro would hear.  
"I'm gonna take Graphite for a walk then! Might check into a hotel for the night so if I'm late tomorrow morning you can tell them where I was!" He stood up and took Graphite's hand. Graphite tried to protest as he dragged him out the door and teleported, managing to drag him with him.

They reappeared in front of the swings in the park, which was already mostly empty. There was still a few people hanging out but all the kids had gone home for the night. He sat down, pushing himself gently on the swing, stretching out his legs a bit as Graphite watched him.

"Why did we leave?"  
"Hiiro wasn't going to let us annoy him anymore, we'd already wound him up pretty well. It was just quitting time." Kiriya pushed himself back as far as he could, holding the swing in place by his tiptoes. "But if I let you leave on your own I wouldn't have been the good boyfriend I am. So as far as he knows, we're going to be enjoying each others company at a hotel and I'll make sure to be late tomorrow morning so he can make a mess of himself insisting he knows where I am but not saying it till I'm there." He moved his toes off the ground, releasing the swing. "I'll make sure to tell him the delicious dragon delicacies I helped myself to, don't worry." Graphite's mouth opened and closed, looking like he wanted to shout but he wasn't saying anything. He looked pretty cute as the colour rose to his cheeks. Kiriya laughed at him as he stopped the swing again getting up off it.  
"I'll have to find somewhere to stay tonight then, sadly you don't actually have a place and I just left without my wallet. Other than that though, this has been a pretty good date." He walked over and kissed Graphite one last time, wrapping his arms around his neck. "I'd tell you to call me next time you want to upset Hiiro but you don't have a phone, so best just... teleport into CR and kiss me full on the lips and I'll know what's going on."

He hit Graphite on the arm, smiling as he walked away before teleporting to the warehouse he'd gotten used to.

He really needed to get his thoughts in order over this one.


End file.
